By Katherine Wright
During this period of social distancing, I have taken it upon myself to re-read the “Harry Potter” series. My former obsession has been fully rekindled, and I now mention Harry Potter at least seven times daily.
I couldn’t help but wonder how the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would handle the situation we, Muggles in higher education, are currently faced with.
- Argus Filch bursts into a school-wide feast shrieking with fear, causing chaos among students.
- Professor McGonagall orders that all faculty and students stay calm until they know what’s going on.
- The prefects march students to their dorms in confusion.
- Harry, Hermione and Ron would immediately disregard school rules and sacrifice themselves for whatever the “greater good” may be in this mysterious situation.
- A cryptic omen tells them that a global pandemic has swept the world, infecting someone in the Hogwarts community.
- The three friends will begin their virus-stopping adventure one of three ways: 1. Blaming Snape for everything, 2. Blaming Draco Malfoy for everything or 3. Skipping the less-evil-seeming villains and going straight to the coronavirus itself.
- News breaks out, and the Gryffindor common room is abuzz with fear. The Slytherin common room is abuzz with snickering laughter.
- Harry whips out the invisibility cloak and a plan takes shape.
- Harry decides he will be saving the day on his own, but then Hermione tells him off for being so silly as to think that he can take on this crisis without Ron and her. Harry reluctantly agrees.
- Harry’s scar hurts. Coronavirus must be near.
- Harry recalls something deep that Dumbledore recently said to him, but Dumbledore never really seems to fill in Harry on the whole story. The information will come in handy only right at the “moment he needs it.”
- At the height of the crisis, three weeks behind New York’s peak, Dumbledore is called off for some pointless reason. He remains inhumanly calm, giving Harry some cryptic advice on his way out (He seems oddly comfortable putting the fate of the world in the hands of three teens).
- Harry, Hermione and Ron pause in the middle of chaos to have a reflective moment …
- … but they’re quickly interrupted by chaos ensuing at Hogwarts. They are forced to separate and each show profound moments of targeted skill. But of course Harry is tasked with the largest challenge: killing the virus.
- Ron fights off main perpetrators, Hermione develops a complicated Immunity Charm to save the wizarding community and Harry defeats COVID-19, stopping the virus once and for all.
- Dumbledore conveniently returns after everything is resolved. Paper towels are restocked. Certain snacks are back on the shelves at Hogsmeade. Everything has returned to normal.
- Hogwarts holds a huge feast in the Great Hall, complete with magically-refilling plates of decadent food and cheerful songs. Gryffindor wins the House Cup. The Slytherins look disgruntled. Goblets overflow with pumpkin juice. All is well.
Unfortunately, to my knowledge at least, we do not have magic spells to help solve this real-life situation. So please stay safe, everyone.
And I definitely recommend “Harry Potter” as the ultimate book series to read during the quarantine.