By Katherine Wright

As a college student, a simple “How are you?” translates to a complex, weighted question that offers a lot of potential answers. This includes the blunt truth, the polite response, the honest brag or the emotional rollercoaster. So, make sure you’re prepared to hear one of those responses when you ask a college student how they’re doing. 

To help prepare you, I have compiled a list of some answers you’ve probably heard before, or have even said yourself when asked the same question.

“How are you?”

  1. I have literally never been so tired in my entire life.
  2. Well I’m about to go sit in the library and mess around on my phone for four hours before I open my textbook and look at it, so you tell me.
  3. I lost my HydroFlask.
  4. Woke up early to take an exam and had plenty of time to get coffee beforehand. But it turns out my exam was at 12 p.m., NOT 2 p.m. 
  5. I’m great. I’ve got a bag of Oreos in my purse and “The Good Place” on queue.
  6. *Desperate laughter*
  7. Although I’m good, you asked me while we were walking past each other on the street, so now I’m too far away to ask how you’re doing and it’s just awkward. 
  8. I spent over $100 on a rental textbook that is now posted online and the bookstore won’t take it back. 
  9. I’m fine! Lol. I’m fine. Really. I’m fine.
  10. I am drowning in homework and can’t believe you even took 30 seconds out of my day to ask that question. 
  11. I walked past seven puppies today on Comm. Ave. I counted.
  12. I found a brand new HydroFlask today and someone took it.
  13. I am still stressed and tired.
  14. I passed out during a Zumba class. Did I mention I have the flu?
  15. I’m really great, thanks for asking. Oh, sorry, thought you were talking to me.
  16. It’s been a weird day. I found a gecko and a spider in my roommate’s sock drawer. I think he might be collecting pests. 
  17. How are you?

Let the cycle repeat.