By: Michal Shvimer

My friend’s roommate got a job at the coveted dessert shop that recently opened in Cambridge — Milk Bar. Part of the training is giving employees one of every baked good so they grow familiar with the merchandise. Hence, I have had a bite of every baked good sold by Milk Bar via my friend. Without further ado, here are my thoughts.

Confetti Cookie

Website Description: Just like the milk bar b’day truffles and layer cake, this sugar cookie is full of birthday sprinkles, birthday crumbs and that familiar old fashioned vanilla flavor!

My Description: The texture does not go with the flavor, which only kind of tasted like confetti, by the way. All I can say is, birthday cake is definitely better as, well, a birthday cake.

Compost Cookie

Website Description: “Packed with pretzels, potato chips, coffee, oats, graham cracker, butterscotch and chocolate chips, this cookie strikes the perfect balance between salty and sweet!”

My Description: I have never actually tasted coffee beans in a cookie, so that certainly added an interesting flavor and crunch. It was not your classic everything-but-the-kitchen sink cookie, but I’d never go out of my way to buy one. Probably because I’ll never crave it.

Corn Cookie

Website Description: “The familiar flavors from cornbread transform into this sweet, buttery cookie! it’s a milk bar cult favorite!”

My Description: My pal claimed this cookie to be her favorite, and I couldn’t disagree more. It’s yet another example of a flavor unsuccessfully translating to a different baked good. Cornbread flavor works as cornbread. I’m not a traditionalist, I just have taste buds.

Cornflake Marshmallow Cookie

Website Description: “A play on the classic chocolate chip cookie with crunchy cornflakes, gooey marshmallows and mini chocolate chips!”

My Description: Cornflakes were an interesting addition, but the marshmallows were not actually gooey, and the textures did not contradict each other very well. I won’t be bringing this to my next bonfire.

Chocolate Chocolate Cookie

Website Description: “Chocolate cookie dough, chocolate crumbs and a hint of salt makes this dense and fudgy cookie taste just like a very chocolatey brownie!”

My Description: It was certainly very chocolatey, I just don’t know if it was good.

Blueberry & Cream Cookie

Website Description: “Sugar cookie dough, bits of milk crumbs and morsels of dried blueberries transform into a cookie that tastes just like the top of a blueberry muffin!”

My Description: The blueberry definitely comes through, and although it’s a cool flavor, it tastes more like a granola bar than a cookie. I’d eat it again, I just don’t know if I would pay for it.

Perfect 10 Cookie

Website Description: “An oatmeal cookie meets an energy bar! made with gluten-free oats, almonds, mini chocolate chips and sweetened with agave.”

My Description: It’s awesome that Milk Bar went out of their way to make a gluten-free cookie. And, well, thank goddess I’m not gluten-free. It was definitely less sweet than the others and the almonds were really packed in there. If they were going for an energy bar feel, I’d say they succeeded. I would just rather eat a Clif bar, and not just because it’s cheaper.

Best Freaking Cookie

Website Description: “A rich and fudgy chocolate cookie, packed with dark chocolate chips and sweetened with just coconut and pineapple.”

My Description: This cookie needs to be renamed. Very cakey texture, which I actually like, but it tasted like the earth, and that’s the best way I can describe it. Do with that what you will.

B’day Truffles

Website Description: “Vanilla rainbow cake mixed with vanilla infused milk, coated with white chocolate and rolled in rainbow cake crumbs – it’s a birthday party in a bite!”

My Description: These were actually heavenly. I don’t know why the truffles are so much better than their cookies, but these really nail the birthday cake flavor, provide a lovely cakey texture and a fun shape. Their gluten free twin is also really good, no complaints. Except for the fact that I’ll never afford to buy them.

Chocolate Malt Cake Truffle

Website Description: “Milk Bar’s chocolate malt cake truffles are a rich chocolate cake mixed with malted milk, coated with white chocolate and rolled in malted milk crumbs!”

My Description: Also SO good. Loved the richness of the chocolate and the fudgy texture. The coating also mixed things up, earning a “mmm” from all the samplers in the room.

Crack Pie

Website Description: “Milk Bar’s Crack Pie® is a fan favorite! With a toasted oat crust and a gooey butter filling, Crack Pie® is impossible to resist.”

My Description: I’ve definitely never tried anything like it, and it was delicious. It’s no addictive drug, but it sure is good. I don’t know if it’s worth the $6 or the hype, but it was definitely worth the try.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to try any of Milk Bar’s cakes or soft serves, which I’m sure are better than their cookies. I can only hope they taste something like their delicious truffles, but I’m sure I’ll never live to see the day I buy a $113 cake, anyway.