You know the feeling: you’re ready to head to class after struggling to muster the will, you time your departure from your dorm based on the little red dot on the map that indicates the BU BUS will be arriving in approximately five minutes. You scramble to an elevator, tapping to refresh the map every so often to ensure the bus is still where you think it is. Just as you arrive to your (fill in the blank) stop, the red dot, which appeared momentarily stalled but still definitely coming, disappears. BU BUS, gone again. It looks like you’ll be walking to class on another 20-degree day. But where does the shuttle go when it’s suddenly off the grid?

 

  1. Purgatory (or at least something like it)

In some level of Dante’s purgatory, there is surely a special space saved for all the BU BUSes that never reach their destination. Neither damned nor saved, Terriers beware that BU BUSes gone astray will end up in the in-between, doomed to transport souls that died of grade deflation. When that little red tracker seems to be lodged in the middle of the Charles, the BUS has obviously just transcended this poor earthly realm.

  1. An alternate dimension

This is a fairly entry-level conspiracy — I imagine the BU BUS tumbling through space time, Ms. Frizzle and kids in tow, going on some fantastical adventure that certainly is the med campus. Rest assured, when the driver does not stop to let on the kid running a block behind, she clearly has bigger and better things to attend to. Alternately, she might be stuck in the Upside Down, transporting shadow monsters from haunt to haunt. I like to think that the BU BUS’ disappearing act might catch some real action somewhere when I’m standing in the rain wondering where she is.

  1. The graveyard of BU memes

Where Extreme Pita lies in her final resting place, the eternally lost BU buses enter these hallowed grounds after their final rounds of carrying young Terriers back to StuVi. Some say that for every obscure name change of the BU Memes for Normy Teens group, another shuttle is lost to the void.

Though this may be an unpopular opinion, I believe the wildly inaccurate map to track the BU BUS truly is on our side. She might mislead us to believe that negative nine minutes remain until the next shuttle arrives, or she might give us false hope in leaving a BUS’ location perpetually idling somewhere between Danielsen and the med campus. She is a fickle mistress, but the BU BUS is really the only instability you can come to love (and sort of rely on) at BU. If she can’t pick me up 64 percent of the time just before my 9 a.m., no one can.