Dear gents,

 

Sorry, is that 2003 calling?

 

I better not see another dude out here in khaki pants with an ankle cut so wide I could fit China’s GDP in there. Seriously, what drove you to make the conscious decision to put on such stylistically abysmal lower coverings?

 

Just because you bought your pants 12 years ago doesn’t give you the right to wear them today. Times change, gentlemen, and one thing that changes with time is style. Your regular-cut khakis were left behind for a reason, and no one is asking for you to bring them back.

 

Let’s be clear — regular-cut khakis ruthlessly butcher the form of the leg. In fact, they don’t just butcher it, they completely annihilate it. Unless your leg has enough meat on it to fully stuff that half-foot diameter, I don’t see what you find flattering.

 

You think you’re cool working out those calf gains, Steven? Well, news flash — not a single eligible bachelorette on the T will see the fruits of your labor when the pant leg of a regular-cut khaki obscures it all.

 

Are you excited to show off your “fun” new periodic table socks at work, Steven, because you’re just such a clever and witty guy? Well here’s the truth — not one of your coworkers will see those bad boys with a regular-cut khaki surrounding your ankles like the orbit of Neptune around the sun.

 

And don’t even think about cuffing them. You’ll look worse.

 

Point is — there’s no benefit to wearing a pair of regular-fit khakis. So to all the gents out there: Purge your wardrobe of 2003’s pant style. Buy slim or skinny fit. Cuff the bottoms for the times you’re feeling ~hipster~. And never, never, let me — or anyone — catch you with khakis wider than 3-4 inches at the ankle.

 

Best,

Shaun 🙂

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