Who has time to answer questions about the meaning of life when a far more demanding age-old question pervades contemporary society: “What are your intentions on Tinder?”
If this question hasn’t reared its unruly head on your screens or during cringy Tinder meet-ups, you are truly an exception to the Tinder user population.
This population can be rather diverse in its intentions, but this question comes from a niche group of people on the app. This subspecies is conducive to a strings-free environment, a habitat with lots of open space to roam, and an innate tendency to feed on the emotionally damaged scraps of a former mate.
Finding out someone’s intentions on a dating/hookup app is important. Laying out one’s true intentions from the start so that no one is left scrambling to figure out how to handle an interaction, and is emotionally prepared to do so, is incredibly necessary. Although, odds are, whoever you just matched with is keen on clarifying intentions right away, because they want to preemptively justify their future sliminess.
However, the chime of the “Sooo… what do you want from Tinder?” might not get as much credit as it deserves.
Imagine meeting up with someone for a cup of coffee hoping to go home with them after, but they want to take things slow. Imagine meeting up for a cup of coffee and wanting to be the one to take things slow. Imagine going on several more coffee dates thereafter to find that this person might be the only one you want to drink coffee with. But they’re on a totally different page. They hate coffee. They only drank it for the promise of sex. Or maybe you did. Now you’re both caffeinated and confused, and this whole situation could have actually been avoided with the “Soo… wyd here?”
Tinder culture is all gray matter, but making intentions clear makes each person’s desires black and white. The problem is that hookups and relationships are a different shade of evil entirely. Feelings can manifest when you don’t expect them to, when you don’t even want them to. Attraction can exist in pictures and dissipate in person. A friendship could develop when you weren’t even in need of a friend. You may think you know why you downloaded Tinder — the reason may have been to get a confidence boost or even to understand Tinder culture as a popular aspect of college life. Whatever the reason, it may change when you meet whoever you’re talking to. But if it does, let them know.