When Sally Albright perfectly orchestrated a fake orgasm in the infamous scene from “When Harry Met Sally…,” men and women were forced to face the reality of heterosexual intercourse: women fake orgasms.

 

This isn’t to say that women consistently fake orgasms and are left perpetually unsatisfied. That would be tragic. However, women are frequently dissatisfied with their sexual partners, and the root of the problem is not biological. Yes, women are anatomically a little more complex, but that does not mean that they are less deserving of receiving an equal amount of pleasure. The main reason that women are left unfinished 30-50 percent of the time compared to men’s five percent is that women are not sexually empowered enough to pursue their own orgasm.

 

Now if you’re a sexually active female reading this and thinking that you just happen to not finish because you’ve heard that it’s “harder for girls to finish,” let me ask you a question: When does sex end? The answer is when a boy comes. While this has been the unspoken definition of sex for centuries, it is not fair that only half the party is left satisfied. Both parties deserve satisfying sex, and both of them should communicate so that this goal is shared. Although women might take a little longer to finish, men should still be up for the job, because it’s only right to return the favor.

 

The idea that it’s harder for girls to finish has been normalized because of the persistent sexist notion that it is a woman’s obligation to pleasure a man, and while this seems like an archaic social norm, it has found ways to permeate contemporary culture, manifesting in fake female orgasms. Men would be up for returning the favor to women if women expressed that they need the favor returned. Faking an orgasm gives men the skewed perception of that sexual encounter. Although it is understandable to want to make a partner feel good about themselves, if it’s the right partner, they will feel better knowing that they genuinely pleasured their partner.

 

Women, take charge of your orgasms. Sexual pleasure can’t be a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. If you’re engaging in something as intimate as sex, it should be authentically enjoyable. Have the conversation, prioritize your pleasure, and keep it real.