It’s almost impossible to imagine my college life without the rideshare app, Uber. In the past five months, I’ve experienced my fair share of interesting Uber rides. Ultimately I started noticing a pattern in the types of drivers and the ride experiences that come with them. Here’s what I’ve found.
1. The Lost Boy
This driver is the one who asks you for directions even though he has three different phones set up with functioning GPS systems, all clearly telling him where to go. Then he still manages to get lost and extend your arrival time by an extra 15 minutes because he doesn’t understand that he needs to keep going straight on Commonwealth Avenue, take a left at Kenmore and not at that little U-turn before Deerfield Street even though he’s tried three times already.
2. The Waiter
This one claims he’ll be there in two minutes, then he makes a wrong turn and forces you to wait for a solid 10 extra minutes as he attempts to find his way to West Campus. Meanwhile, you freeze your butt off because West Campus is a literal wind tunnel. By the time he’s finally done winding his way through the streets of Allston, you actually forget what warmth feels like and contemplate why you didn’t just cancel the Uber and call a different one.
3. The Mixmaster
The one who decks out the inside of his car to create a party in the backseat, hype you up for the party you’re probably heading to. There’s color-changing LED lights contouring the backs of the front seats or somewhere in the interior of the car, to get you pumped up. Also he probably has an aux cord for you if you want it, even though he is already playing a radio station with a wicked lit playlist.
4. The Caretaker
The one who asks you how you are when you enter the car, and then proceeds to offer you some minty-fresh gum and a complimentary water in the back seat. Often enough there is also a miniature trash can in the back in case you need to throw anything away like an old piece of gum or a candy bar wrapper. 10/10 people would rate them six stars if possible. These drivers provide the most wholesome Uber experience.
5. The Conversationalist
The one who doesn’t play any music in the car and instead tries to make awkward small talk with you in the dead silence. In turn, you are low-key freaked out a little bit when you tell him that you’re pre-med, he asks you what your favorite body part is. However, there are two types of conversationalists. They can also be the total opposite by playing great music in the background while having a conversation with you about your family back home, then tell you how he’s thinking of surprising his brother by flying out to visit him.