Now that Donald Trump is officially the 45th president of the United States, more media attention is being placed on his cabinet picks. As I search through the list and watch the hearings, I find myself more and more shocked with each nomination. I keep thinking to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could choose our favorites for the cabinet positions?” Well, I did just that. Here is who I think should be in Trump’s cabinet:
1. Secretary of Energy: Rick Sanchez from “Rick and Morty”
Who wouldn’t want a mad scientist as the secretary of energy? At least he wouldn’t want to abolish it the entire department. His first policy position: get schwifty.
2. Secretary of Defense: Gunnery Sgt. Hartman from “Full Metal Jacket”
We need a leader who can protect our nation. Who is better than the no-nonsense drill sergeant from “Full Metal Jacket.”
3. Supreme Court pick: Judge Judy
The Supreme Court has been lacking a justice for a few months now. Judge Judy is the replacement we need. Her straightforward policies and eye-rolls will set the judicial standard for years to come (if she’s busy, ask Jerry Springer).
4. Secretary of Education: Mr. Garvey from “Key and Peele”
Since Betsy DeVos failed her final exam, it seems we will be needing a new secretary of education. Well, we need to look no farther than Mr. Garvey, everybody’s favorite substitute teacher from “Key and Peele.” He may have a little trouble with names but his policies will save the public school system.
5. Secretary of Transportation: The conductor from “The Polar Express”
Professional transporter? Check. Able to get passengers from one place to another on time? Check. Can organize a dance and musical number while serving hot chocolate? I think we have our new secretary of transportation.
6. Secretary of State: Indiana Jones
Who is better to travel the globe than our favorite explorer, Dr. Jones?
7. Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. J.D. Dorian from “Scrubs”
No explanation needed.
8. Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency: Captain Planet
Instead of a climate change denier, let’s get someone who cares about the environment. Captain Planet can save the planet and teach a lesson about sustainability all in one day.
9. Secretary of the Treasury: Scrooge McDuck
I see no difference in Steven Mnuchin, who is Trump’s actual nominee, and Mr. McDuck. Except that McDuck has three grandsons to keep him in line.
10. Attorney General: Scooby-Doo and Shaggy
We need someone to get the bad guys. Why not the dynamic duo between themselves? They could fight crime and make sure no one gets away with it.