The results are in and clear as day: “Fuller House” is a terrible TV show. More than having produced an overall negative reception, the show has bred reactions so extreme, it seems the show induces existential crises.

"Fuller House", the reboot to 90s hit "Full House” debuted on Netflix Saturday to less than glowing reviews. PHOTO VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS.

“Fuller House”, the reboot to 90s hit “Full House” debuted on Netflix Saturday to less than glowing reviews. PHOTO VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS.

A Vulture review claims, “The first four minutes of ‘Fuller House’ are four of the most excruciating TV minutes ever broadcast.” It went on to emotionally question how could “You got it, dude,” ever gained cultural significance, blaming society and saying, “The world is so full of mysteries, one has to wonder how humanity achieves anything at all.”

“Fuller House” also prompted a Vox writer to question the show’s existence.

“What I am saying is that watching too much ‘Fuller House’ will make you feel like you’re a part of some sinister experiment, presided over by beings from another dimension who are waiting to see if you’ll crack under the pressure,” the review states.

And it’s not just blogs and websites. Look to Twitter, and people don’t just hate the show — they are offended by it.

It’s not that “Fuller House” perverted the standard that its original show set. In fact, most of these reviews state that the first series set a low bar. The handful of positive reviewers claim the show succeeds by pulling at their heartstrings with nostalgia. I could understand this, except that the kind of person susceptible to one-liners on “Fuller House” probably doesn’t have a soul. We all know the usual criticisms of sitcoms, and especially of the older variety: the jokes are bad, the studio audiences are corny, the plots are predictable and the ending always involves a big hug. So, those willing to overlook these things will be fine. But for the rest of us semi-conscious beings, “Fuller House” brings back all of the unwanted clichés of the past.

To be fair, it’s not that we didn’t ask for this, and even Internet memes support this statement. Look no further than “Only ‘90s babies will remember (insert blank commercial product).”

Nostalgia for the ‘90s has virtually taken over the Internet. BuzzFeed has capitalized on this with endless Disney princess and ‘90s rom-com quizzes. Tumblr took over with widespread fan movements supporting shows like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” It’s not just “Fuller House,” but also “Twin Peaks,” “The X-Files,” and “Gilmore Girls” that are getting rebooted.

So, the “Fuller House” reboot and its static format are not particularly surprising. But that doesn’t make it any more tolerable.

It is important to remember how much television has changed since “Full House” itself. Shows like “The Sopranos,” “Breaking Bad,” “Mad Men” and other literary-caliber shows did not exist at the time of “Full House.” Since then, even today’s sitcoms like “Black-ish” and “Modern Family” deliver better jokes, better emotional moments and better experiences for their audiences. All of the ways TV’s standards have been raised make “Fuller House” look really, really bad.

The alienation of “Fuller House” is possibly what makes it so terrifying. It breaks down the meticulously constructed universes that newer shows have spent years perfecting. When something looks different — or in the case of “Fuller House,” exponentially outdated and striped down — it scares us. “Fuller House” is kind of like the ghost of TV’s past, coming back to haunt the modern entertainment world. This ghost comes to expose all of the lies of what our favorite, highly regarded binge-shows contain. In doing so, it reminds us that after all, watching TV isn’t the best thing we could be doing with our precious time. Watching “Fuller House” is not just like watching an unfunny show, it’s like staring directly into the void.