No more land of the maple leaf for Chris Brown. On Feb. 24, Chris Brown was reportedly denied entry into Canada by border officials. Brown was heading to Canada for two concert dates: one in Montreal and one in Toronto. A representative for Brown (doesn’t that sound like a fun job?) said Brown could apply for entry to Canada in the future. Authorities gave no reason for why Brown was turned away at the border, but my common sense says it has something to do with his 2009 assault on Rihanna after the Grammys.

Chris Brown is facing unusual consequences for his history of assault. PHOTO VIA FLICKR USER Eva Rinaldi

Chris Brown is facing unusual consequences for his history of assault. PHOTO VIA FLICKR USER Eva Rinaldi

This isn’t the first time Brown has been denied entry into another country. In 2010, Brown was refused a visa by the British government due to his past criminal record (which then only consisted of physical assault), forcing him to cancel four shows in the United Kingdom. Dearest readers, I hope you’re sensing the theme that physical assault leads to unforeseen consequences in the future. So don’t do it. Ever. Thanks!

This is pure speculation on my part, but Chris Brown’s whole not-allowed-in-Canada issue may have an underlying cause. Chris Brown does have some drama with Drake, everyone’s favorite Canadian rapper, after all (the two had a 2012 altercation in a bar). As Canada’s third most beloved export (behind maple syrup and peace), Drake must have some influence in the Canadian government. I mean, if Drake can get the city of Houston to dedicate a whole day to him (June 10 — look it up), the man must have some say in who gets to enter the sacred land of Canada.

Being the sensitive and protective guy that he is, this could be Drake’s attempt at protecting the good women of Canada from Chris Brown, the bad boy/convicted felon. I wouldn’t doubt Drake’s seriousness in his beef with Chris Brown either. The rapper has an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to his feuds.

Continuing on with my completely ridiculous and completely untrue thoughts about Chris Brown’s ban from Canada, I thought I’d make a list of other places where Chris Brown should be denied from entering.

First, I think Chris Brown should be banned from Disney World — the happiest place on earth. All of that cheer in the air, and he’d probably find some way to mess it up. Besides, his public demeanor doesn’t really blend in with the Disney crowd. Second, Brown should be barred from attending a feminist rally. That one’s mostly for his own good. And lastly, Chris Brown should be banned from entering any place where there is a woman who feels threatened by him.

In all seriousness, Chris Brown’s battery of Rihanna is still relevant six years later. He’s facing the consequences of beating a partner, and he’ll probably feel the impact well into the future. I would even argue that Chris Brown used his criminal label to promote his public image, fully taking on the new “bad boy” persona. Though he (hopefully) feels remorse for his past crime, Chris Brown should be held accountable, and not being allowed in Canada is just one part of it.