By Hannah Landers, Staff Writer
A famous actor or actress who also performs in a band is hardly a rarity these days. When he’s not saving women from being hit by cars or handing out free boxes of Girl Scout cookies, Ryan Gosling performs in his ghost-centric band, Dead Man’s Bones. And silky-haired Oscar winner Jared Leto actually spends more time fronting his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, than he does acting.
But the most outrageous of these celebrity band incarnations is no doubt Macaulay Culkin’s The Pizza Underground, which takes Velvet Underground songs and makes them all about — you guessed it — pizza. So instead of “I’m Waiting for the Man” and “Femme Fatale,” The Pizza Underground serves up “I’m Waiting for Delivery Man” and “Pizza Gal.” The band also features an unusual set of instruments, like glockenspiel, kazoo and, appropriately, the pizza box (although how one goes about playing a pizza box is beyond me). All this talk about pizza cover bands has got us over at the Muse hungry for more food-themed cover bands, so here’s a list that we hope some brave (or perhaps just out-of-work) celebrity will one day form.
The Meatles — These guys would only perform in special shows at butcher shops wearing bloodstained aprons. Just don’t bring your vegetarian friends to a show. Hits might include “Strawberry Veal Forever” and “Sa-La-Mi, Bo-Log-Na.”
The Black Peas — Not to be mistaken for The Black EYED Peas, the Black Peas would be a veggie-themed rock ‘n’ roll cover band for those too faint-of-heart for the Meatles. Hits might include “Chard Row” and “Lonely Bok Choy.”
Bon-Bon Iver — You’ll be begging for seconds after hearing the sugary sweet crooning of this bearded dessert-loving songbird. Albums could be baked into cookies and then sold to sweet-toothed fans. Hits might include “Not So Skinny Love” and “Halloween (Candy).”
The Peach Boys — The ultimate feel-good band of the summer would only be improved with a fruity touch! Each band member could wear those tall hats with all the fruit stacked on top. Hits might include “Wild Honeydew” and “Banana Ann.”
Dungeness Crab for Cutie — This band would only play on ships, wearing traditional sailor garb. They would be a huge hit on cruises. Hits might include “Eel Follow You – Watch Out, A Shark!” and “Shoal Meets Cod-y.”
The Rolling Scones — This one would probably work best with British band members. They know their teatime, after all. Hits might include “You Butter Move On” and “Paint It Red (With Strawberry Jam, Please).