By Frankie Barbato, Spotlight Editor
The mindset of a man who uses a pick up line to get a woman’s attention is baffling. Why would he think it’s socially acceptable to ask a woman out by first asking her how much a polar bear weighs? (Enough to break the ice, if you didn’t already know). Millions of men around the country will go to bars this Valentine’s Day to pry on pathetically sad woman who say things like, “Valentine’s Day is like so dumb” and “I don’t need a man to be happy.” If you’re going to use a line, this might be the perfect time to practice.
1. “Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long” This one is odd because normal people do not generally complain of leg tiredness after they actually run. Also, in the case where the woman says that yes, her legs are in fact “tired,” how does the man respond?
2. “If you were a booger I’d pick you first” How many boogers does a man generally have in his nose that he has to decide which one to pick first?
3. “Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here” What if the woman is actually lost and alone in the bar? Now you are pointing it out and making her feel bad about herself. Rude, so rude.
4. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together” Who actually sits around thinking of all the ways they can rearrange the alphabet. Now the woman thinks you are pathetic and a little strange.
5. “Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas?” The awkward moment when the woman does not celebrate Christmas, or she is just a pessimist who doesn’t believe in Santa anymore. In the latter case, try not to hit on her because she is just not a fun person.
6. “Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?” Earthquakes are overall scary things. If someone referred to me as an earthquake, I wouldn’t feel very good about myself. Things to do: don’t make natural disaster metaphors.
7. “Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me” This one sets you up for failure right from the start. What if the woman actually thinks your last name is “Right”? To only example I could think of to prove this is the New York Mets’ third baseman David Wright (pronounced “right”). However, if you are of the billions of men who aren’t David Wright, you shouldn’t have this problem.
8. “Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes” Refer back to number three for reasons against pick up lines referencing directions of any sort.
9. “Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see” If you must use this line, only do so in America to prevent confusion with foreigners who don’t have all 50 states memorized.
10. The greatest pick-up line of all time: If you are in desperate circumstances and you need to use a line, aspire to achieve greatness like Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother: