1. “Yes! Allston! Rat City, let’s do this! I’m ready!”

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gif via GIPHY

2. “Oh god, what was the vague furry blur that just ran by in front of me. If that was an actual rat, this entire evening is canceled.”

3. “Cool, a guy on a skateboard! I love skateboarding, it’s a very low-key way to show everyone you’re from California and really miss your old weed dealer.”

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gif via GIPHY

4. “Really wish I’d worn different shoes right about now. And a jacket.”

5. “Alright, into the frat basement. Because who doesn’t love not being able to tell where your skin ends and where the air begins?”

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gif via GIPHY

6. “This basement smells like a mix of roach spray and spilled beer, with a lovely undercurrent of stale pot smoke. Someone should bottle this scent and turn it into a lovely perfume. Eau de Allston, anyone?”

7. “You know, this basement really reminds me of a gallery show. The way they’ve co-opted the aesthetic of street art in their design of this place is very deeply resonant.”

8. “Can I make it over to the staircase in order to make it upstairs in order to get to the bathroom? My potential paths through this crowd seem very limited. I think I’m going to require some maps of the territory and foreign intel in order to be able to fulfill this mission.”

gif via GIPHY

gif via GIPHY

9. “At last, I’ve made it out of the basement. I feel like a groundhog emerging from the ground. It’s too dark out to see my shadow, so there won’t be six more weeks of winter but there will be at least six more hours of higher-than-average blood alcohol levels.”

10. “Guess I’ll never be able to wear these shoes again. Hey, is Extreme Pita still open?”

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gif via GIPHY